Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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