I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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