dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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