I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize