It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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