Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
