Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
