tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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