Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize