I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize