normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
