so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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