Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize