I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
honey bunches of taint.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
