he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
