Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
