with your own penis?
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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