Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm going to jail i love you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize