That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
