woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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