covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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