Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
