When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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