yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize