I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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