Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
