I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
