tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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