So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i permit you to call me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize