New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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