so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
