Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
