whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
