Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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