Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
