Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
