So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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