Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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