turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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