Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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