Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize