Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
