I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
