fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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