I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
