Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
