Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
