This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
