i think my mom watched the whole time
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
not ubering you a puppy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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