What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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