You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize