we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
