I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
