if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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