There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
