Little spoons don't ask big questions
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
