Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
ok first of all what the fuck
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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