No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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