if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize