She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
