That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
50% drunk capacity currently
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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