I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
