Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
