I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
