I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
