Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
