I think my vagina is haunted
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize