i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
