how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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