cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
