He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
